From the mouth of babes

Remember that show "Kids say the darndest things"? Well, it's true. Spencer says the best stuff. Some of his past greats are dubbing a friend as "Private Wayne" which has stuck with all the "big boys" and while he was sleeping telling his dad, "Don't eat my sandwich Dad!" But from the moment he found out that I was pregnant he has said some things that just are fantastic! First he immediately knew where the baby was and put his hand on my belly and asked/stated there was a baby in my belly. He then proceeded to tell everyone within ear shot that there was a baby in my belly and implored them to touch my belly. (I made it through my pregnancy with Spencer with few unsolicited belly touches. This time they will be solicited by Spence!) It was cute and sweet. Later that same night he was eating chicken noodle soup which had little bits of carrots. He does not like carrots and has me eat them for him. While we are doing this he proceeds to tell me that he does not like carrots but "the baby does." And still that evening he put his hand to my lips, opened my mouth a bit and told me, "You need to spit that baby out." ---- The kid has such good delivery it's impossible not to laugh (at least when you hear it from him).

And over this weekend I had to remind him not to poke me in the stomach. He then decided to talk to my stomach and told me the baby was laughing and he put his ear to my stomach. He then started making funny noises and faces for the baby.

Later that morning he wanted to know if you can hug babies. I told him yes, but you had to be very careful and gentle. I also told him you had to ask the mommy's and daddy's first before you touch a baby --- I was honestly thinking more of our friends that have new borns and how he can get a little close. He walked right up to me and gave me a big, gentle hug and asked if that was too hard. It was the sweetest moment.

The kid is smart. He may not be a great listener or be able to sit still but he is smart and ridiculously sweet.

Let the Dreaming Begin

Last night I dreamt I delivered the baby in one push. This was a surprise to everyone, although I don't really know who "everyone" is. And, I seemed to have to convince people that I had had the baby. I remember being excited.

I rarely remember dreams or even that I've had them. So having this one seems to mark the beginning of the dreaming. When I was pregnant with Spencer did I dream more? I think so, but don't remember for certain. What does the dream mean? Confirming I'm pregnant, trying to dissolve any last bits of denial? Foretelling an easy delivery (optimistic view)? Foretelling a tragedy I've seen all too often at work (non-optimistic view)? Reminding me that babies are exciting and hearts of hearts are excited about having a little one around again? Whatever the meaning, the dreaming has begun.

little successes

I'm not going to pressure any of us for major full sweeping success. It's a set up for failure. So, I'm going to revel in the little steps it takes to get the big stuff. Last night Spence went to sleep in an instant (no nap will do it to ya). I got out of bed and watched TV and spent some time with the hubby like a grown up! and then as the night wound down the debate was on again. Where should I sleep? With my hubby like a grown married woman? Although he wasn't quite ready for bed and we both had plugged up noses which will likely lead to snoring...... OR crawl back into bed with Spencer where I know I will fall asleep with his goodness wrapped all around me? OR sleep by myself in the computer room--- learning to fall asleep on my own again, but not having to burden or deal with the hubby / snore factor?

What happened? I was so good the first three years of his life about not sleeping with him. Teaching independence and self soothing. Now we both have trouble falling asleep without each other. I know what happened: training for a marathon, working full time, and being a mom and a wife last summer had be exhausted by 8pm and falling asleep before Spence! Him waking me up telling me I'm snoring! Imagine! You're three year old saying, "Mama, you snoring." Mama replying, "I know, baby, go to sleep. Mama's tired." and there you have it. The habit of sleeping together has begun. And still reins supreme today.

Some say, enjoy it. This stage won't last forever. Others say watch out, this could last a LONG time. The truth is I love cuddling with him and sometimes it's the only really good quiet time I get with him, but I also want the adult stuff too, even if it's just watching TV or knitting, it doesn't have to be even "too adult". The other truth is I need to be the responsible parent and start preparing him for the possibility of a brother or sister. And, I can't sleep with him all big and pregnant. It just legistically would not work.

So, baby steps. Last night he fell asleep and I got some adult time. I ultimately decide to sleep in the computer room. Small steps people. If I went to bed with him at that point it would be for me and not for him. Be the responsible parent/adult. Of course he was up at 3am looking for me and found me. We went pee and back to his bed to sleep "lots and lots." I'm fine with this. This is for him not me.

Little successes.